something never changes

i am over with y exams today, will like always after college they never got good, well all is done cant be undone, well i will start my day after exam, it started with a movie of tin-tin i love that character it was my childhood something, well after my gym and yae my volley speaking of volley i am tired of it , these words i have never told with words, turely i want to do something new, these days i m getting a feeling that y life is this shot to learn, i want to learn a lot a lot means a lot different thing, who they work and lots of stuff , but this is also true i m not quite a  fast learner, i always needed my time, well i want to leave volley now but i cant its not a raj way to leave things so emotion less dam y this heart is soo good beating in me, i hate myself to not being shellfish 
                                       today most important local stuff i learned
an innocent girl is more dangerous then a play girl she will always make u like her innocent and u will be a bunny so so so so funny.  
                                                                

the stupidest desire i have

yea u heard it right. todays thought of the is 
                                               "wats the stupidst desire u ever have" 

It started next year, i thought i had lots of many stupid desire, like peeing on mars, when i heard about moons gravity i always wanted to do long jump on moon, thinking of coming back of the girl i loved in my junior class dam she was so innocent those day i just remember her name nothing else, where she is how she is doing she even remember me or not , that not something stupid by the way but last year i went to "PAVAGADH" a holy place near godhra (Gujarat), 
                                                      story from my father  


i heard the story of pavagadh from my father there, this place is related to maa amba, she use to dance garba (a folk gujarati dance) in navratries all night long, and one king forced her to marry him as he was impressed by her beauty, she told him that he is avtar of maa amba he should loos the desire to marring her but all king of stories have heavy testicles, he forced her, so maa amba went angry and collapsed 3/4th of mountain into earth along with her , but lord Shiva appeared and hold her calm her, that king apologized to her and then thing went same to normal, well in gujarati 1/4 is called PAV and since that mountain remain only 1/4 above mother earth, since then this mountain is called PAVAGADH,
                                                       here born the stupidity
my child hood belongs to Gujarat since i can remember i m playing garba in navaratries, so i m deeply found of playing garba, but as i grew up went into studies it has been like 6 years i have not played garba, and when last year i went to pavagadh and heard the maa amba use to play garba like crazy i thought i wish i could play garba with maa amab, with here i would have played non stop garabs for 9 days, can u imagine me playing garba with maa amba it sounds so stupid, it cant happen any time 
                                                        its really not stupidity 

\well to some of it will sound really stupid but it nothing my desire to play garbas, it something i use to do with my full heart during my child hood, and i never wanted to lood this habit of my child hood, i always loved dance, and with garbas only my love for dance started, so what ever , i ever got to dance with maa amba or not which i want to , but i just want to garba this navratri  :) 

THE SECRET OF MY LOVE

                              can u love some one so much that u are resist to fall in love

 

yae thats my thought of the day, some asked me how canu be so sure that u will never fall in love to love some one, i said dear frnd i want to love some one like all do, but i want to love till eternity, i cant bear the separation which is the if ur unlucky is the probable  essence of love, i asked him the same question

                               do u want to love some one to be apart from her

 

he he can say, no one want to be apart form his love, and in my case i feel so deep for my soul mate that i can express in words and i cant loos her even if i m not yet physically met her, so u understand how crazy i m in love i m afraid of the post consequences of love and thats my reluctance for to fell in love with some one

                                                           love of my life

 

the very first love of my life are my parents rather to say it my mom, i know no one can make me apart from her so i love her more then my life, i loved them more than my life

 

my second love is my brother, i love him so much i cant see him getting hurt, her was the reason for the first time i felt like loving some one, i was 2yrs when he was a baby and looking at him i got the very first feeling 'to care'

 

then my sister, she is the only girl presently i can die for no reason ;) (figure of speech, understand the feelings ;))

 

then my cousin i hate so much myself for hating him :(

 

                                                      finally the love i lost

it was my dong i lost 2 years ago, it was the very first time i felt the pain of being apart, i cant have him back i cant see those eye back, i cant touch him again, I CANT LOVE HIM AGAIN COZ HE IS GONE FOREVER

                  

   " this feeling of not be able to love again make be resistane to love, i want to love like forever"

it will always remain secret to her

something are meant to be secret for ever and it the best of all of us, well starting with my day my day started with an end i use to wonder y most of the writers use those type of line 'it started with an end' today i knew those line are priceless if used at right time.So it started with an end, i was about to sleep and my one of my best frnd msged me to chat with her, yae HER i not too use to chat with specially HERS but i have one frnd who is grl, so i knew she was in relationship but i confirmed to her then, we had a deal long back ago to sahare our first love with each other it sounds too filmy i know but raj itself so fimly name lol, so she kept her promise asking me to do the same, but she have to wait for too long for me to fell for first love of my life, it was a long and nice chat, i like her it was like 3 am till we chat and we both felt a sleep and this how my day stared,
i had a quize the very same day it means today it went no so well 
today another vampire diare will come out,  i m the first one to download it from net :) well i m downloading master of my wing it was awsome and finally listing to a romantic devotional song i went for my after noon nap, and still it will be a big secret to her about my first love 
i m confused with first love, i have my first love to my parents, to my mom for me love is to care , i dont think this feeling like i have for my parents which i call love will change is i ever met my soul mate, i will feel with that same feeling of care to her, SO ITS THE FIRST LOVE I M CONFUSED WITH CAUSE THE SAME FEELING OF CARE I HAVE FOR HER 

ITS A REBEGINING

today i gave my 2nd gate exam, well i had no meaning for it now but i want to see where i stand in this competitive world, and i got my answer i lick the bottom rather i m below the ground level, but what the hack i dont care cos i have not started running yet, and the moment i will start i think, i will run better , yae here too that probability of not happening occurs but i will make it happen for her, i dont love her but she  the one i really want to impress these days .
Yea u heard it right i have a girl in my life these days but the interesting part is she have no idea, and the twist is i have no intention of love or giving the so call 'commitment' to her my commitment is to my parents, but she is my kind a girl, and i wana to impress her but, i have unknowingly screwed so much that i have to strive a lot to her, but she inspires me thats my motive, sometime i really wana to be with her .....
                            ''tare ankho mai ek ajab se gahrai hai, ban kae jazba ab tu samae hai, 
                              paa nae ke to chahat nahe rakh ta, magar is duniya mai ek tu he bhaai hai, "